Here’s the thing: people love to make assumptions about other people.
Everyone knows that. The lesser common knowledge about this is that we also make assumptions about ourselves, based on our past experiences and watching how we act in certain situations.
We learn that we can only live in this world as our one true identity, that everything else (what we try to be, wish to be, and are jealous of, is not us and is therefore contradictory if we try to act in a different way).
The point is, I don’t think this applies only to blasians, or wasians, or even biracial or multiracial people — the struggle of finding an identity and seeing proof of it in the real world is difficult, because we aren’t just one-dimensional people. We consist of what we are and what we’ve built, and what we want to be.
What I’m most interested in is the identity we want, though — things we seek that we tell ourselves we aren’t because they aren’t things we were born with. Things like being good at memorizing, picking up languages or social/emotional cues quickly, reading large books in two days, etc (all things that I love with my whole heart and that I can, hopefully, share my experience with you as we go along).
We think we’re trying to be something we’re not when we do something for the first time. This is why I love culture: you meet new people, you learn your target language, you keep expanding and expanding yourself, your circle, what you are — and little by little the person you thought you knew is gone, and your new self is unrecognizable.
I believe this is where true human contentment lies. The process of chasing the things we want to become. About believing that your circumstances and who you are are only ever a reflection of how big or how small you think, by what you deem to be normal and what you deem to be impossible. That it’s only about becoming conscious of invisible things, or things not seen by most people (which is what I think artists are so good at) — such as opportunities around you that can take advantage of, different versions of yourself you’re capable of being, an idea for a project that is at the heart of every overheard conversation, a trick of light passing on a newspaper — and using that sight to change your life and how you feel inside of it.
All it takes is expanding your mind a little, understanding where you currently are and where you want to be, who you want to be, even if it isn’t anywhere near where you are now.
It’s like that moment in Harry Potter when Dumbledore tells Harry that he is truly a Gryffindor because he wanted to be in Gryffindor, while a Slytherin would never choose so. The fact that he wanted it and that he chose it for himself was what actually made him a Gryffindor. (Sorry, had to slide in at least one book reference).
This is what I’ve been chasing for the past few months ever since I got obsessed with improving myself, my knowledge, and my environment.
I believe this to be true not just about myself, but about so many of us. That’s why, through this blog, I want to explore a different definition, a second definition outside the identity we give ourselves that limit us. In other words, I want to use what I know and love best (writing) through the experiences and encounters I’ve had with my identity and the identity of friends and others around me, to uncover lies about myself and the world around me. Part of this blog will also be dedicated to the books I read on self-development and how I apply the things I’ve read and use them in my day-to-day life, and how you can too.
As a person who identifies as multiple things (Japanese, Haitian, American — Black, Asian, etc), I understand the importance of flexibility in how you define yourself because, as we know, to define is to limit. I want to use this blog to show people that to understand yourself and your history is important, but that building up and creating new identities for yourself, creating more room for yourself to grow and choosing what you want to be is just as important.
I hope you can join me on this journey of love and self-discovery through some of my favorite mediums: books, writing, and language (and an additional “travel” bonus section where i’ll be writing about my journey studying abroad in Tokyo in a few months!). I’m so excited to go on this journey with you, and will hopefully see you very soon.