writing archives

  • 11/30/24 you know what you have to say fuck you to the parallel universe where you two are holding hands first there was the parallel place you promised you would love what was good for you (and then went back on your word in this one) the parallel hole where you’re sitting on the bus…

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  • Here’s the thing: people love to make assumptions about other people. Everyone knows that. The lesser common knowledge about this is that we also make assumptions about ourselves, based on our past experiences and watching how we act in certain situations. We learn that we can only live in this world as our one true…

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  • error 1: see a woman will notice if you love her. your tells. shifty eyes, the glitching, hesitating body, back and forth, any wrong move. a woman will notice the ridiculously small effort in your eye movement, whether it’s on her, or avoiding her because it secretly loves her, or plastered somewhere else in distraction…

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  • 5/4/24 running away from japan. day trip to california. i was so far up i could see the roundness of the earth, darkness draining from the edge of the skyline. what a beautiful world with mesmerizing things (6:31AM, los angeles, CA) i was supposed to be here. otherwise i wouldn’t be soon you will be…

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  • 3/31/24 it’s this: novel writing. not anything else — not friends, not poetry, not disturbing remnants of you that still haven’t dried themselves out. it is so simple. this is the only thing. hm. i’m just sitting here in this quiet fever dream. i don’t think my mind’s been working on the novel much. i’ve…

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  • not your regular program – a strange formatting today. just one-liners it’s your heart, it needs defending (jannatun) just focus on taking it easy (guadalupe) the weather will get warmer and you will be fine (my mom) random convos i eavesdropped, probably in cafes. ‘i love when men cry.’ ‘yeah it’s pretty sweet.’   ‘her…

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  • i recently bought myself a bouquet of 紫陽花. they are my favorite flowers. usually I had only ever bought flowers for mother’s day, for birthdays, graduating friends, never for the body i used and walked around with. that meant it was my first time washing the vase at home, cutting the stems, fingers carefully avoiding…

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  • reading words has haunted the heart less you are of this tiny world i can’t bother with anymore — the hiding, pretending, not-being, recoiling from the self. you are the tiny world not worthy of telling anyone about co-star tells me that the greatest passions are the silent ones, and i tell co-star back to…

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  • i think you have done a good job at showing me you are cold and beautiful. i am reminding myself that it is not love. idolization either. godhood either. and from there i try to warn myself that that one piece of knowledge is all i need to walk away. that i love you so…

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  • i think i have always grappled with incompleteness. it reveals itself to me inch by insufferable inch yet i can’t stop digging my shoulders deeper, letting it rear its ugly head. so to answer your question no, i don’t think love prays for everyone. what is it, to go on living after love shows you…

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  • it is infuriating to see imperfection and for my body to go after it anyway. and god why make us this way? i can feel love trying to be the open wound; now i will never know love even when i see it in other people because i saw your eyes first. i think about…

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coming soon:
  • Abstract Thoughts on THE BOY AND THE HERON
  • Men From Literature (will make a nice post about men since ‘On Girls and Our Errors’ was not very kind to them)